WoW! Where do I begin… I could write a book to share this story, but I’ll do my best to keep it short & sweet 🙂

As long as I can remember I’ve always dreamt of finding true love.  I was for most of my life a hopeless romantic looking for love, acceptance and security in all the wrong places.  I hurt myself and others along the way trying hard to get my fill.  On this quest to find true love I thought a man was the answer, my knight in shining armour, my prince, my hero.  When failed relationship after failed relationship and feelings of rejection and abandonment resurfaced over and over I started to look elsewhere.  I needed answers and at the time the world was giving me the wrong one by telling me that the answer was ME… I had to first love myself before I could really find true love or that true love was loving myself?? huh?? So I tried to love and accept myself and provide myself a false sense of security that I so desperately needed.  I failed miserably! Who am I apart from God who is Love Himself to be able in my own strength to provide anything for myself.  I am an imperfect human being created to be loved and cared for by my Creator.  Only I was so lost so far away from the truth, yet He never failed in His pursuit for me.  I was so far gone, so far from Him but I was desperate for His love.  I was lovesick in need of a Saviour and a cure.  In fact I was so lovesick that I became mentally sick. Aside from having suffered with undiagnosed anxiety and depression most of my life, I then developed a mental illness called Psychosis for which I was hospitalized on numerous occasions for having had multiple episodes and relapses for which now the diagnoses is Schizoaffective Disorder.  Unlike most people with this disorder, I am high functioning and by the grace of God doing well and relapse free for almost 3 years.  Undergoing these psychotic episodes was the most terrifying experience of my life.  I literally thought that I had died and gone to hell….but Jesus!  Yes, Jesus came to my rescue!  I cried out to Him and called on the God of this universe and begged Him to rescue me and He did.  He answered and my life has never been the same since.  He was the answer to my greatest dream and my greatest desire to be loved, accepted, and secure.  He is True Love.  True Love found me!  I came across a passage of Scripture today from Psalm 12:5 that reads,

“FOR THE OPPRESSION OF THE POOR, FOR THE SIGHING OF THE NEEDY, NOW I WILL ARISE,” SAYS THE LORD, “I WILL SET HIM IN THE SAFETY FOR WHICH HE YEARNS.”

That’s me! I was the oppressed poor person sighing in need to be rescued – to be loved and secured.  God performed His word and He did rise up and set me in the safety for which I yearned.  You see God is so faithful, even when we aren’t, He is.  It has been 3 years since True Love has found me and I’ve wandered so many times still looking for love in all the wrong places, but He never gives up on me.  He pursues me daily bringing me back to Him – my first love.  I feel like finally now I’m waking up to the reality that it isn’t just a dream anymore – now it’s a dream come true and I am safe and able to fall freely in love with my Saviour, my Hero, my Knight in shining armour, my Prince…

Thank You Jesus… I love You 🙂

Disclaimer: Please know that I’m not discounting the importance of human love and affection. In fact it’s the second greatest commandment which is to love one another.  I’m just acknowledging God as the primary source of love since He is Love itself and we cannot love or be loved without first getting it and giving it through Him.  First and greatest commandment is to love God:)

P.S.  I’ve included a worship song that is dear to my heart and in keeping with the theme of this post. I hope that you enjoy it! If you have already been rescued by our Lord & Saviour Jesus Christ then my prayer is that you will continue to fall in love with Him more deeply and follow Him more closely.  If you happen to be reading this and you haven’t personally called out to Jesus to rescue you then I encourage you to take a leap of faith and call out to Him and He will answer and rescue you. You are loved and accepted! God Bless 🙂